An Athlete's Pregnancy, Part 5: The Third Trimester

After competing in the 2024 Games, my husband and I decided to move from California to Girona, Spain. We made a first trip with our stuff in August of 2024 and when I stepped out of the taxi into the city I almost turned around and got right back in. It was hot. We don’t even live in the hot part of Spain! I was promised that the climate was very similar to the Bay Area, but, let me assure you, the summers are not created equal. I was sweating from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep, and, actually, most of the moments I was asleep as well. (Europe is famously not famous for its air conditioning.)

When I was contemplating a very positive-looking pregnancy test back in November, I frantically started counting. And then recounting. I swear I could already feel the sweat gathering at the base of my neck, running down my spine and pooling under my breasts. Due date right in the middle of August. I was melting in discomfort the summer before without a huge belly: how on earth was I supposed to get through months of stifling heat while putting on more and more weight? Would I be able to sleep? Breathe? Walk? Exist without being such a drama queen that I threatened the stability of my marriage before the baby even arrived?

So. All this to say. My experience of my third trimester of pregnancy has been extreeeemely colored by the heat. And it's been just about as uncomfortable (at times) as I imagined.

There is something very official sounding and feeling about being in your third trimester. In most places with good NICUs, if your baby were to come out once you’re in your third trimester, they would probably survive. Cue the panic preparing for an outcome that is unlikely (but not impossible! It could happen any day! Screams my brain.): the baby could come at any minute.

The third trimester brings continued changes in both physical and emotional flavors.

The physical changes for me definitely began to hit. Swollen feet (and fingers!), insomnia, increased fatigue and really just in general it is more difficult to do things when you have a huge belly that wasn’t there before! Everyone around me was saying, “Wow! Time flies! You’re so pregnant!” But honestly it felt like the longest 9 months of my life. It was hard to remember a time when I wasn’t pregnant, and I found myself looking at pictures and videos of my former body with a strange fascination: who was that? Is that agile woman somewhere inside me? Will she emerge again? The third trimester of pregnancy is uncomfortable. At times almost unbearably so (see disclaimer at the top). It’s difficult to roll over in bed, get out of a low seat in a car, wash dishes or walk quickly. Lifting weights was a humbling experience y’all. Walking up the stairs at times left me breathless. But, as with so many challenges in sports, the real battle was happening on the inside.

Emotional changes were definitely an influx of hormones of one type or another (lots of crying), and also yet another type of pregnancy induced anxiety. You start thinking more about the reality of birthing a small human, and, even more intimidating, about actually having a small human in your home. The birthing and the parenting require an insane amount of decisions to be made in a way that pregnancy sort of prepares you for, but really doesn’t. The big ones for me were: labor, feeding the baby and sleeping the baby.

Are you going to get an epidural or not? What about vitamin K shots in the newborn baby’s eye? Delayed cord clamping? Do you want to labor in your own bathrobe? What type of yoga ball do you want to bounce on? When is the right moment to go to the hospital? Which hospital? You should definitely co sleep with the baby. You should never co sleep with the baby! What type of muslin swaddle did you buy? How will the baby sleep safely with that swaddle?? You must exclusively breast feed the baby. Feeding the baby with formula will allow you to sleep, and this will prevent childhood trauma! There seems to be an insane amount of pressure on making the right decisions, but shockingly little consensus on what the right decisions are.

As an athlete, I’m great at following a plan. I’m super disciplined. Give me a goal and a training plan and I will never miss a day. This is because, from all my years as an athlete, I’ve learned that preparation is the best way to prepare for success. The “fail to prepare, prepare to fail” mantra has worked its way into all of our consciousnesses as athletes, one way or another.

One of my self-talk phrases before a race is, “I’ve prepared for this.” Another one is, “I know how to do this.” My confidence in race situations comes from good preparation, and an intensive understanding of what I am about to attempt. This confidence comes from years of execution, both in practice and on the field of play. The first of anything is almost always a wash. “Well, it was your first nationals!” “It was your first pro race!” The underlying expectation here is that it is a-okay to mess it all up the first couple go rounds. How is anyone supposed to get anything right on their first try? Sometimes we surprise ourselves, but there is rarely an insane amount of pressure on the first attempt.

Late in my third trimester, in an attempt to ease my anxiety, my husband said, “You can’t prepare for this.” I broke into tears. How was I supposed to approach my hardest physical challenge yet without my most basic tool?

This was true and not. You can prepare for birth. You know best how you react to stressful and painful situations, and packing a hospital bag full of your favorite comfort items will help. You can surround yourself with your best race day support team. You can prepare some of your favorite snacks. But I think the most important preparation is somehow understanding that you cannot be fully prepared for something you’ve never done before. I know! It seems intuitive but let me tell you that is not the messaging that is out there. There is a weird pressure to be incredibly certain, prepped and ready for something unknown. (Everyone looooves to ask the question, “Are you ready?” as if there is some mock test to take and pass that will determine readiness for birth.) It is normal not to be prepared for this particular challenge. One more time, louder for the people in the back: it is normal to be unprepared for something you’ve never done before. It’s normal to be unprepared for something you’ve only done once, or twice, or three times. For me, the self-talk changed from, “I am prepared for this,” to “I trust my body and my birthing team.” “I trust that, whatever happens, I have the strength to handle it.”

Lastly, it is okay to make mistakes! You are not a terrible person if you make a mistake or change your mind. This is also not really talked about! Because, if you are doing the absolute right thing from the beginning, why would you change your mind? Gentle reminder that there are very few things in this process that are the objective “right thing.” You have the right to change your mind as your experience and circumstances change. As my obgyn friend likes to say, “it’s a lawless land!” You get to make your own laws, which, while incredibly terrifying, can also be freeing.

So. As birth approaches, remember that there’s no training plan for this race day. This one’s more like getting ready to ride the biggest roller coaster you’ve ever been on. Strap in and try to enjoy the ride.

This blog is part of An Athlete’s Pregnancy, a personal multi-part series chronicling one athlete’s experience navigating pregnancy after an elite sports career. Access part 4 here.